I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
