i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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