Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Just high enough for therapy.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
