you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
