Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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