he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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