My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
