I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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