Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i need an iv and a liver transplant
In America we eat man semen.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
