YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I am naked and annoyed.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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