I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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