Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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