marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize