Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
