Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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