Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
