I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
