so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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