how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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