So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
