i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
