i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize