i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
