You work out of a Hotel?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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