so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
