I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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