He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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