I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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