im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
