we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
