Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
