I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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