why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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