I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize