She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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