it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize