Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
