Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
