Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
