we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
