he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
