Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
