After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
