K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
smell my finger.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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