I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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