Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
my poor anus
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
