i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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