god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
My life is pants optional.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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