remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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