Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
