I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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