a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
