My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
