That's when you crack a 10am beer
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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