i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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