Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
