is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
