I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Boobs are out for the taking
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
