Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
