I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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