Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
dude i'm inner monologue high
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
