STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
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