Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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