I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
