we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
