i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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