I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
