I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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