Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
