All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
