Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
