doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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