Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You're like the curious george of whores
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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