Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize