And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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