Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
