I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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