2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
