I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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