I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
