I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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