He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
