Dual....:-)
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
