home. puking in laundry basket.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
