haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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