Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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